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goldenlisaster's journal
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fourth time around  http://gothamist.com/2007/09/22/return_ 1) burglarize the magnolia cupcake bakery 2) and then go home and watch [the original] teenage mutant ninja turtle movie while eating our booty 3) take samba lessons together 4) make really stealthy babies 5) go to a roller disco 6) make ninja sock puppets 7) go to vegas and hit the craps table…hard 8) get dressed up and participate in a showing of ‘rocky horror picture show’ 9) sit on the couch and watch a ‘project runway’ marathon 10)clean my apartment with great fervor 1) when i didnt pick up the phone or go online all weekend while atoning, people got mad 2) i still have no direction in my life 3) i'm still lonely 4) i still have my family pointing out regularly just how little direction i have and how lonely i am 5) my room is a mess 6) i always look disheveled 7) i can't stop biting my nails 8) my office is freezing 9) my coworker started complaining to me about her movie again at 8:45am for 15 minutes, first thing in the morning 10) i still have bad dreams and wake up feeling tense and unhappy the very short list) 1) how macs are superior to pcs 2) the backlash against britney spears 3) the backlash against the backlash against britney spears 4) my bosses use of the phrase 'moving foward'. it just really rubs me the wrong way and makes me want to jump out the window 5) my coworkers movie 6) my need to use online dating 7) 'you should get a new job' (annoying in the 'oh, why didn't i think of that' category) 7.5) 'you should get a new job' (annoying in the 'overly vague and not helpful tips for living' category) 8) how hipsters are lame. they have money, nice apartments, fun lives and cool clothes. making fun of them is just depressing. 9) contemporary independent rock bands. 91% of the time, i hate it every time. 10) youtube. see also: my feelings for supermarkets and multiply times 87 possible ways to distribute my spoils 1) almost a whole movie ticket to see 'balls of fury' 2) 1.5 beers when i see the meat puppets tomorrow 3) a soy latte and cheese plate at starbucks 4) stamps, paper, and ink for letters to various congressman and media outlets extolling the dangers of airborne and vitamin A overdosing 5) mr. softee ice cream sodas for like 2 days in a row 6) a forty and a shorty 7) vintage ironic tees from goodwill for use in next years hipster olympics 8) a fancy waterbottle to reward myself for overcoming a very negative dependency on bottled water 9) a few shares of stock in orbit gum 10) a 2001 ford mustang. seriously! http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/car/4 UPDATE: after encountering the $10 sale at virgin megastore, i spent my booty on the dusty springfield album 'dusty in memphis'. the deluxe addition! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowie_%28F 1) the song bret you've got it going on contains the memorable verse 'no doubt ‘bout it, we’d be gettin’ crazy, if one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady'. 2) bret actually does really have it going on 3) the band's stalker/fan mel bares more than a slight resemblance to myself 4) david bowie gives really good advice in telling bret to get an eyepatch 5) as a result, bret loses his depth perception. i problem i myself struggle with. 6) david bowie circa the 'ashes to ashes' video is not only uber funny looking...but really funny. i just lol'd to myself. 7) bret and jermaine really love biscuits. as do i. 8) they make bulimia funny 9) bret wears really funny elementary school sweatshirts 10) new zealand accents are dreamy http://purplekangaroopuzzle.blogspot.co can you imagine anything sadder than dying of a vitamin A overdose? 1) an adult death by drowning in one of those inflatable kiddie pools 2) choking on a piece of candy 3) heart attack while on the toilette eating a sandwich 4) losing a duel in weehawken because you didn't think the other guy was serious 5) taking mushrooms thinking they were hallucinogenic but finding out they were just deadly poisonous 6) a fully functioning adult swallowing a small toy gun from a gi joe figure 7) manganese overdose 8) that 'six feet under' episode death where the guy accidently hung himself while...uh...exercising...to porn 9) paper cut infection 10) brooklyn mosquito lyme disease 1) ride on the back of a motorcycle 2) learn to skateboard 3) take a cross country trip by train 4) publish something 5) find something that i'm really good at 6) travel across the country with a local band 7) french lessons 8) have a really romantic night that ends with being caught in the rain 9) be someones role model 10) go to a nude beach 11) eat ribs 12) have a conversation with a famous person where i am the impressive one and i walk away first 13) go to a drive-in 14) stay in a new york city bed and breakfast 15) make a speech at someone's wedding 16) make a speech at someone's funeral 17) go on a fishing/hiking/camping trip 18) have an outdoor wedding 19) get into a physical altercation and win 20) see the desert Mayor McKinney, My name is Teddy Jay. I am a graduate of Western Michigan University and was a resident of Kalamazoo for nearly 5 years. Though my career quickly lead me to the great city of Chicago, Kalamazoo still has a special place in my heart. As you know, most people ask a simple question upon hearing your city's great name. "Is there really a Kalamazoo," they often ask with shock and amazement. I of course point to my hand and show them where it is, as a good michigander would do. Those who simply don't believe me end up looking it up on a map, with utter amazement that such a place, with such a name exists. However, my darling friend Lisa still playfully denies that Kalamazoo is real. I have tried to convince her, yet she still insists it's some cruel joke i'm playing on her. There is, however, a history with this joke which makes me partly responsible for her denial. I was supposed to send her an actual kalamazoo post card, many many years ago. I of course forgot, and have since moved to Chicago. As you could probably guess, the absence of such postcard remains hung over my head. I should also note, that in the course of this conversation, Lisa renamed Kalamazoo "Kfunk." I think she thinks it'll celebrate the city's diverse population and cultures. I miss Kalamazoo's breweries, music scene, and art...the things that truly give it funk! My request is simple...could you or one of your commissioners send Lisa a postcard from Kalamazoo. I need to prove to her how cool of a city it is, and that it is in fact...a real place. Respectfully Yours, Teddy Jay PS: Go Broncos! http://gothamist.com/2007/08/10/beastie and yes, you can see me in the crowd pic. cause i was that close. shazam. 1) every other time i've seen them in new york, it's been at the garden and i've been about as far away as you can get while still being in the garden. this show? i was the second row of people in and very happy to be standing, er, jumping. they all moved around the stage and there always seemed to be at least one bboy on the stage right in front of me. happiness. 2) much like the rest of williamsburg, the venue was an old hollowed out pool resembling the land that time forgot. it was HUGE. and sold out. 3) new york beastie boys fans are just cool. and surprisingly, non hipster. 4) the boys seemed genuinely really happy to be there, in the hometown, back to their gentrified roots. 5) they were all wearing full suits and looking extremely dapper and attractive. way to step up boys. your aging quite nicely. 6) ad rock has like 3 specific dance moves involving arm motions. they are what you'd expect from a nice jewish boy and totally adorable. 7) instruments. so like, it used to be that they'd do a show, stop, set up instruments, and then play them, and then stop playing. this time, the instruments were incorporated seamlessly and totally facillitated the entire set. and they played them EXTREMELY well. 8) the setlist was an excellent assortment of old and new. it's beyond me why they never play 'flute loop' though. 9) i was with jay and mike. they are two of the funnest people i know and i am insanely happy that they were there with me. 10) everyone seemed really well rehearsed. after all these years, they're able to look put together without being staged and formulaic. 11) the stage setup was really fairly simple, but awesome. all the equipment was clear. and they had these led looking light fixtures in these cool configurations show random stuff. it was just wicked cool. 12) rev run came by! all he did was come on stage and say hi, no performing, but its always nice to see the rev. 13) have you ever been someplace where you're too excited to drink and you feel like you might vomit? cause this was that. but in a good way. 14) money mark is adorable. he's like a pet monkey. when he wasn't playing keyboards, he was literally just jumping around onstage on all the equipment. 15) the evening ended with us lying on the grass in the park. happiness. 'right now' captions that would apply to MY right now 1) right now i am listing instead of living 2) right now my desk has too much flair 3) right now i am being irresponsible 4) right now could benefit from eternal sunshining 5) right now my reproductive capabilities are depleting as someone may be marrying my soul mate 6) right now i am getting closer to dying alone 7) right now is passive aggressive 8) right now someone else is doing my dream job and probably doesn't appreciate it 9) right now my metabolism is slowing down 10) right now could use a drink 11) right now the city is wasting energy and money to make my office too cold for everyone here 12) right now the beastie boys are probably somewhere in new york city and have no clue that i exist 13) right now facebook is making rudy giuliani mad 14) right now i wish my jumbo iced coffee would start kicking in 15) right now she is going on with her life |
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